Death in the Family

Last week Doña Sonia’s son Danilo died. Doña Sonia is the teacher of the sewing workshop and Doña Esmeralda’s sister. I was staying over at Tere’s house the night before, and at 6am Fatima came by and told us the news. He was only 26. He had some problems managing his alcohol use and did not take very good care of his health. But everyone commented on how he was a sweet guy and never bothered anyone. Traditionally when someone dies, the family holds an all night vigil (vela) that evening. Family and friends come and sit with the bereaved, sharing food with them, comforting them, praying and making sure they’re not alone. Maria and I walked together to the vela which was at Doña Sonia’s mother’s house in Reparto Schick, a neighboring barrio. They had set up plastic chairs on the front patio, which were mostly occupied by children, one of whom was Doña Sonia’s 10 year old daughter. As the sun set, people continued to join the vela, greeting Doña Sonia and offering condolences. The chairs overflowed onto the sidewalk and the house next door. The 108, 109 and 164 buses rumbled by periodically and groups of men hung out in front of their houses chatting and playing cards. Doña Esmeralda arrived soon after in a truck with the food that they’d been preparing all day. Doña Thelma and Sonia served all the guests a plate of food and a cup of Coke, and Doña Sonia’s mother delivered food to the neighbors on a platter. The guests sat chatting with each other quietly. After the food had been served, Danilo’s father arrived. He had been working in Panama and had to fly in. Everyone quieted down as he greeted his mother, sisters and Doña Sonia, and proceeded to go into the house. They had set up the casket inside for viewing… It was surrounded by elaborate flower arrangements. I left at nine, but people stayed all night. Doña Sonia is still grieving, but when she comes to the centro during the day, there's many people here to console her.